Leafs Vs Canucks Preview

Toronto Maple Pwners

Games played: 7
Record: 0-6-1
Points: 1

Standings: 15th (last) in Eastern Conference

Goals for: 14
Goals for Per Game: 2.00
Goals against: 32
Goals against per game: 4.57


VS


Vancouver Fuckinsucks

Games played: 9
Record: 4-5-0
Points: 8

Standings: 12th in Western Conference

Goals for: 26
Goals for Per Game: 2.89
Goals against: 27
Goals against per game: 3.00


The much anticipated only visit to Vancouver by the Leafs this season, goes down tonight. Both teams have struggled out of the gate, with the Leafs having the advantage in the struggling department. A number of circumstances have come together to meet at this game to likely make it worth watching, and they are: 1) The Leafs trying to get their first win of the season to break a 7 game losing streak 2) the Leafs haven't played for 7 days, so the withdrawls are getting bad 3) the love triangle of Brian Burke-Ron Wilson-Mike Gillis which culminated in tampering allegations and a Vagina full of sand for Gillis 4) when Toronto comes to town Vancouver gets excited because it means people outside of BC will actually give a shit about what happens 5) we can see how fat the Anthropomorphic gelatinous blob know as kyle Wellwood has become.

This game is especially important for the Leafs, who - as mentioned before - are win less this season and are hoping the week long break will allow them to "reset" and "start fresh". To facilitate the pressing of the reset button, Ron Wilson has tried to make the team forget their trials and tribulations by having fun. This week the Leafs had a Halloween party and a 3 on 3 tournament in hopes of forging brotherly bonds. This game (more so then the last 5) signifies a potential turning point for the Leafs, as it marks the beginning of a 5 game road trip. Should they come out tonight and play a strong game while getting a win, the stage could be set for a successful road trip which could catapult them back into playoff contention. However, if they pull a Wellwood and literally choke, it could be a lonnng road trip.

Vancouver started out their season rather rocky by losing the first three games. When Montreal came to town, it was the battle of the most pathetic fans in hockey, which Vancouver won 7-1, thus getting the season rolling and then winning 3 of the next 5. A question mark so far this season for the laughably named Canucks has been Roberto Luongo. After signing a 12 year extension in the off season, Luongo started off the season poorly until he was pelted with granola and "Save the baby Seals" keychains by Canuck fans. Since then Luongo has returned too his usual form and hopes to continue to remain strong tonight.

Former Leaf Kyle Wellwood has also had a suspect start to his season. With 1 assist zero goals in 9 games, it's clear he's still as useless today as he was in Toronto. Wellwood was actually in Toronto recently when he thought he smelled Bacon. Alas, it was just Jason Blake being pan fried.


Tune in after the game, where I will post my notes that I will take as the Leafs play.

and for today's (non hockey related) video:

Leafs Vs Rangers Preview

Toronto Maple Awesome Motherfuckers

Games played: 6
Record: 0-5-1
Points: 1

Standings: 15th (last) in Eastern Conference

Goals for: 13
Goals for Per Game: 2.16
Goals against: 28
Goals against per game: 4.67


VS


New York Lamers

Games played: 7
Record: 6-1-0
Points: 12
Standings: 1st in Eastern Conference
Goals for: 28
Goals for Per Game: 4
Goals against: 14
Goals against per game: 2



Tonight, the Leafs hope to end a 6 game losing streak, and leave those losers the New York Islanders in the dust, as the only team who has yet to win a game this season. Since the Panic Button had to be sent in for repairs due to constant pressing, Brian Burke and Ron Wilson decided to press the Reset Button instead. Coach Wilson felt the team was no longer having fun and was afraid to make mistakes, so he organized a "Fun practice" of Dodgeball and Finger painting. Then at 6:00 pm, Their mommies came and picked them up. Jason Blake was excited because he was going to visit his cousin.

It is likely Matt Stajan and Nik Hagman will be back in the lineup after being healthy scratches in a 4-1 loss to Colorado. With Vesa Toskala and Jonas Gustavsson still injured, Andy McDonald and James Reimer will be the Starter and Backup respectively. Jonas Gustavvson is expected to be back the following game, which is next Saturday vs Vancouver.

While on paper, this years defense far surpasses last years, expectations have been dashed by poor defensive zone coverage and mental errors. A solid effort tonight could be a big step toward rejuvenating the fans and getting the defensive play to the level where it should be. Francois Beauchemin, Mike Komisarek and Luke Schenn would benefit the most from a strong game at the ACC.

A win tonight would allow the Leafs to set out on a positive note on their upcoming 5 game road trip. It would also allow them to not be justifiably booed out of their own building for the third home game in a row. The upcoming road trip could end up being very important if the Leafs are still in the playoff hunt when game #82 rolls around. with 11 of a possible 12 points already gone this year, the upcoming 10 points - 4 of which are against division rivals - could make or break the season. The final game of the road trip is clearly a practical joke from NHL head office, as it takes place Halloween night Vs Leprechauns.

The Rangers are basically then Anti-Leafs right now as they are on a 6 game winning streak and first in the league with 12 points and a 6-1-0 record. With Marian Gaborik and Vinny Prospal red hot with 10 points each, and rookie Defensemen Michael Del Zotto with 7 Pts, Toronto will undoubtedly be tested to its limits. And if a 6 game losing streak wasnt enough adversity for the Maple Leafs they will have their hands full trying not to score in their own net.

If the Leafs lose tonight the question will be "how many loses will it take before Burke starts mortgaging the future to prevent a top 5 draft pick?"

Hopefully the Leafs will win and get the ball rolling so we don't have to ask that question.


Prediction:

Leafs Vs Penguins Game Preview

Toronto Maple Leafs

Games played: 3
Record: 0-2-1
Points: 1
Standings: 15th (last) in Eastern Conference
Goals for: 8
Goals for Per Game: 2.667
Goals against: 12
Goals against per game: 4.0

So the greatest team in the frigging Universe is playing host to the Stanley Cup Champion Pittsburgh Penguins tonight. This game is very important to the Leafs, and probably more so then it is to Pittsburgh. Starting the season with 3 loses in a row means there is pressure from above and from the fans to perform. After Tuesday nights pillow fight Vs Ottawa, this pressure has been intensified. After that game, Coach Ron Wilson was not happy, and when Ron Wilson isn't happy, someone is cooked. Literally. After making all the players who didn't have third degree burns do a "Bag Skate" He expect more effort in tonight's game. Another question mark going into tonight's game is the status of Viktor Stalberg and Jonas Gustavsson. Stalberg was the victim of a vicious but legal open ice hit Tuesday. He left the game immediately and did not return. There has been no official word from the Leafs on whether it is a Concussion or not, but he has not returned to practice and it is hoped he will be okay for Monday nights game Vs the Rangers. Jonas Gustavsson aggravated his groin during his first NHL start on Tuesday. He is expected to be out for at least a week and has been placed on the Injured Reserve List. Due to this, Joey McDonald has been recalled from the AHL and will play backup.


Pittsburgh Penguins

Games played: 4
Record: 3-1
Points: 6
Standings: 1st in Eastern Conference
Goals for: 12
Goals for Per Game: 3.0
Goals against: 12
Goals against per game: 3.0

The Pittsburgh Penguins are leading the Eastern Conference with 3 wins 1 loss and 6 points in 4 games. After winning the Stanley Cup last season, anything less then a return of the Cup to Pittsburg would be considered a failure. With young stars who should be even better then last year, like: Evgeni Malkin, Sidney Crosby, Marc-Andre Fleury, and Jordan Staal, They definitely have the skill for a repeat performance. Taking this into account, Tonight's game should be a battle for a ages. Will Pittsburgh's overwhelming skill and speed subdue Toronto? Or will Toronto Karate Chop it's ways to victory? Only time will tell, but expect Toronto to fight like a cornered animal, because they really don't want to be 4-0 to start the season with their next game Vs the Rangers.

Predictions:

- Toskala plays adequately. Lets in 3 goals but makes some spectacular saves
- Blake demoted to third line
- Rosehill is back
- Truculence makes a comeback
- Fleury is not very good in goal for Pittsburgh
- Komisarek, Beauchemin and Schenn all play much better, Wilson agrees in post game.
- I will be at the game and will win the thing where they pick someone to move to platinum seat.
- Brian Burke doesn't Smile when the Leafs win in overtime/shootout.
- 4-3 Leafs
- This

Leafs Vs Senators Game Preview

Toronto Maple Leafs

Record: 0-1-1
Points: 1
Games Played: 2
Goals For: 7
Goals Against: 10


The Toronto Maple Leafs will endeavor tonight to get their first win of the season and improve their record to 1-1-1. There is a number of questions that remain unanswered for the leafs, mainly who will start in net and how their defense will perform. The Leafs lead the league for goals against with 10. However, they have managed to silence the critics so far, who said the Leafs were lacking in offensive fire power, as they have scored 7 goals which puts them third in the Eastern Conference, behind Washington and Boston.

The key for the Leafs tonight will be how they play in their own zone. The vast majority of the criticism lobbed by fans and pundits far has been aimed at Vesa Toskala, however, first year Leafs Francois Beauchemin and Mike Komisarek along with Sophomore Luke Schenn have underwhelmed considerably. If the Leafs are to win tonights game and eventually reach their goal for this season of making the playoffs, these three defensemen will really have to step up. Specifically when it comes to their defensive coverage, pinching at the proper times and clearing their own end. Considering the big changes the defense has undergone in the last few months, It is understandable that it will take a while for new Leafs to acclimatize, but the fans will not be patient for long. If you thought they are pissed off at Toskala now, watch what happens if he plays tonight and performs poorly.



Ottawa Senators

Record: 0-1-0
Points: 0
Games Played: 1
Goals For: 2
Goals Against: 5


Ottawa will saunter into Toronto on Tuesday hoping to break a streak of three losses in a row at the ACC. After a disappointing first game of the season, the Senators hope Newcomers Alexei Kovalev, Johnathan Cheechoo and goaltender Pascal Leclair will be able to bounce back from what most most people who watched the 5-2 loss to the Rangers agree was a mediocre debut for all three players. Many Senator fans are pinning their hopes on recent arrival Pascal Leclair to help them forget Ray Emery, or as he was called here in Toronto, "Bobble head". Leclair arrived before the trade deadline last year in a trade with Columbus that saw the 27 year old come to Ottawa in exchange for Antoine Vermette and a Second round pick, and he will be instrumental in Ottawa making the playoffs should they get that far.

The Keys to tonights game and to making the playoffs this year rest in the hands of: Kovalev, Michalek, Spezza, Alfreddson, Cheechoo and Leclair and well as youngsters such as Regin. If the Sens get the goaltending they are hoping for from Leclair, and Spezza and Kovalev get going, they may be able to beat the Leafs in their own barn.


Predictions:

-Gustavvson will play
-Stalberg will score
-Mayers wont play. if he does, it will be the last we see of him for a while.
-Kovalev does nothing
-Beauchemin and Komisarek are much improved
-Orr beats the crap out of someone and we get flashbacks of Wendel
-Leafs Penalty kill impresses
-Gustavvson impresses even more

Final: 5-3 Leafs